Whether you are in high school, college, or in your thirties working the 9-5 grind, you have undoubtedly witnessed the “it” girl and I know you know what I’m talking about. The “it” girl seemingly has her life together, the perfect hair, the perfect make-up, the perfect clothes, and of course the perfect guy. However, what really makes an individual magnetic, including the “it” girl, is their confidence. I recall emulating people whom I felt embodied confidence until it became habit for me to carry myself with a positive, engaging energy. However, had someone pulled me aside early on in life to clue me in on the fact that confidence has very little to do with one’s outside, and everything to do with how you feel on the inside perhaps I could have saved myself a lot of awkward moments, negative self talk, and time waiting for validation from others.
Confidence is a lot like spirit and soul, we all have it, but you will never be able to realize it until you tap into it. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen overnight. However, there are key behaviors that you can implement into your daily life to get you to the point of being a woman with undeniable confidence no matter your age. With that said, here are top 10 tips to getting you on your way to a more confident you.
1. Appreciate the person you are, and own it! Okay, I know that sounds very philosophical, with a bit of “you go girl!” mixed in, but it goes beyond that. It takes confidence to own who you are. No matter if you are quirky, nerdy, the funny girl, etc., when you own it others not only see your confidence, but they respect you for it.
2. Carry your carriage high. The first and only time, I may add, I had someone tell me to carry my carriage high I was totally confused. Where I’m from a carriage is something you attach to a horse. However, what the woman who shared that advice me was trying to impress upon me, was to stand up tall and allow my spirit to light up the room. When your carriage is high, your spine is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is filled with pride. All of this translates into confidence. When you learn to carry your carriage high, every room you walk into, others will notice your confidence.
3. Take care of your body on the inside. As I mentioned earlier, confidence is about what you emanate from the inside out, and that means eating healthy. Feeding your body what it needs to thrive is important, because it keeps you healthy. When you are healthy you feel good, and when you feel good it shows.
4. Smile…often. Even if you think your smile isn’t the greatest in your opinion, it’s important that you move the corners of your mouth in an upward motion. Smiling is a universal body language in which we all recognize as someone being open and friendly. According to healthcentral.org smiling triggers your brain to feel more secure and relaxed. Of course anytime you don’t come across as a bag of nerves, people see you as confident.
5. Speak with authority. Growing up I had a very high pitched voice, and I would get teased all of the time about it. I even had someone tell me I sounded like I was singing when I spoke. It wasn’t until I was older did I understood what they meant by that. The cadence of my voice was very lyrical, versus being concise. Oprah Winfrey is a perfect example of someone who speaks with authority, and of course when she speaks she sounds very confident.
6. Look people in the eye. Along with my high pitched voice, I had an awful time looking people in the eye, and the primary reason was I lacked confidence and self-esteem. I was truly afraid to lift my head and meet another person’s gaze. Eventually, I did learn to look others in their eyes, and I noticed that others actually viewed me as more capable and confident because I did so.
7. Accept compliments graciously. Self deprecation is never attractive in any situation because it gleans of low self-esteem. Therefore, when someone offers you a compliment, accept it for what it is, and own it. Now, that’s confidence!
8. Get physically fit. Exercise is not only great for your bod, but it is great for your soul! Now, you don’t have to run 10 miles, but simply moving, be it a brisk walk or Zumba class is all you need. Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel good mentally, and it also has a direct impact on your physical well being. Of course, as stated earlier, when you look good you feel good, and when you feel good you exude confidence.
9. Have positive self talk. Okay, so I wouldn’t say have a conversation with yourself while out shopping. However, when you are getting ready in the morning for school or work, go ahead and boost your ego. You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you how awesome you are. When you know your worth, it comes across, and others dial in on that because having a positive self-image translates into confidence.
10. Engage others. When you are the one to initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know, it actually assists you in coming across approachableOf course being a more confident you won’t happen overnight. However, the sooner you can implement these top 10 tips into your daily routine the faster you will get to a place of confidence. Remember, confidence is all about how you feel about yourself on the inside.
Written by Kristy Wiggins-Gilbraith