Mastering the Art of Self-Love Before Jumping Into a New Relationship

Did you just break up with your partner? Or are you currently in a relationship and thinking about breaking up, so you can find someone you’re more compatible with? Well the first thing I want you to do is pump your breaks. First of all, there is no need to rush into a new relationship when you are not completely balanced. Once you have self-love, then you will be able to attract the person you really need in your life.

Years ago, when I was around 22-years-old, I had a friend who was so desperate when it came to dating. She was always partying hard (thinking she was going to meet her prince while doing the electric line) and running behind shady men. When she finally found a man, she would constantly pressure him into marrying her. Obviously, this girl was seriously unbalanced. It was obvious that her personal self needed some serious work. If we were still cool then I would tell her to first focus on self-love. Why? Because you have to get your personal self together so you can eventually attract your other whole, and definitely not your other half.


Being balanced spiritually is such a beautiful thing. In this case, you don’t have to be a part of an organized religion. But it is important to have a connection to your spiritual source. For example, I consider myself to be very spiritual. I meditate daily, practice yoga, and give thanks to my creator. I also try to eat clean so I can have clearer thoughts, which is one of the reasons why I became a vegetarian. And having my quiet time is very crucial. This is a time for me to reflect on my past, present, and future.

I suggest you figure out what brings you peace of mind. And honestly, for some people, religion brings them peace of mind. So if being a part of an organized religion is best for you then go for it. As long as what you believe allows you to be at one with the creator, and gives you peace of mind, then I strongly suggest you follow that path. You definitely want to have peace in your life before finding a mate.


Even though I am not 100% in love with my body, you better believe I am working my butt off (not literally, though) to gain some muscle. My diet is much healthier, so I shouldn’t have an issue being bikini-body ready by July. Now I want you to ask yourself if you are happy with the way you look, comfortable with your diet, and in love with your personality? If you feel like you need to make some improvements then start working on it now. There’s no need to keep putting it off because you will just be miserable comparing yourself to other people. I don’t know about you but I want to look and feel my best.


Now I will admit that it can be difficult for me at times to express myself completely. Sometimes I can even be chatting with friends and feel at a loss for words, or end up saying goofy things. But I have to keep telling myself to breathe and relax. Does this sound like something you do as well? Can you express yourself clearly, or do you stumble over your words? Also, ask yourself if you are happy with your intellect. Whenever you get into a relationship, you always want to have something you are bringing to the table. This is the person you will be evolving with, so you should never be comfortable with being stagnant.


Hopefully, you’ve read my other article about the dangers of being an emotional vampire. And if you haven’t read it then let me tell you just what an emotional vampire is. It is someone who has so much emotional baggage to the point where they literally drain someone’s energy. Don’t ever become an emotional vampire. Also, learn how to set boundaries with people. Never let someone walk all over you. If it doesn’t feel right in your gut then it is not meant to be. Also be able to relate to other people. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our careers that we forget to check on our family and friends. So I encourage you to call a loved one. Ask them how their day went, and let them know you are reaching out to them just because. At the end of the day, when you get into that new relationship, it will no longer be just about you—you will be a part of a team.

All in all, it is highly important that you make an effort to get your personal self together before you start browsing dating sites or asking your friends to hook you up. Once you become balanced mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally then you will attract the person who is truly meant to be in your life.


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